Kelly Bites' Neighbor Diaries Entry: The Nerd and The Wierd Al

Note: A huge chunk of this came from my Friendster blog. So if you see any similarities, that's because it is.

MaxFM 103.5, a local FM radio station, has an evening show called Kelly Bites hosted by, well, Kelly. She has a segment called Neighbor Diaries, where anyone can send stories with three strategically placed song titles which Kelly will play.

The first time I heard of this segment, I immediately thought of an entry. But first I have to get permission from Kelly before writing it down. See, the usual entries for the Neighbor Diaries were about people's lives. But what I was about to write was not about my life. The theme of my piece was Wierd Al Yankovic. My piece had to be part fiction. You'll find out later why.

I was able to contact Kelly through kellybites.multiply.com where she and her fans who call themselves "Kellybiters" hang out and chat. I told her that my Neighbor Diaries entry will be partially fictional and that it's theme is Wierd Al and asked if it's just fine with her. She said it was, so I immediately started working on it.

This was aired February 15, 2008. Note that this was made only for laughs and was not meant to reflect any actual person, more specifically me, in real life. Okay, maybe about 40-60% of this is real, but it's not like the last part really happened to me. If you're curious as to what it is, then read on.

Good evening Kelly. My name is Julius. I am what everybody would consider a geek or a nerd. I'm very knowledgeable about studies, very good with computers, and speak like a 100-page textbook, if it had a mouth. I even look like one with my stripe or checkered polos, large-framed glasses, and pimpled face. I must admit that I do stand out in the crowd, and not in a good way. I find it hard to socialize with people, and rarely when I do only because they need my help in a certain problem. The girls keep a distance from me, and the guys just don't want to hang around with me, maybe because I'm just too "White and Nerdy."

My nerdiness shows when I'm in front of my computer. Ever since I was a kid I've had computers around me that I seem to have developed an affinity with them. I mean, I am still capable of using DOS as much as every Windows versions starting from 3.1. The computer is the very first thing I turn on whenever I come home or wake up in the morning. I can stay up in front of it up until the wee hours of the midnight. Almost all my daily duties I do with the computer, like researching on the internet, typing up my homeworks, killing time with video games, and just recently, buying stuff on "E-bay."

The trouble with being a nerd is finding a girlfriend. Let's face it, geeks have a difficulty on finding a special someone. With the way I look, act, and live, girls find me unattractive, a notch below Mr T and Richard Simmons. I had my shares of heartbreaks, and they didn't even reach the stage of "acquaintance". I felt very very lonely, Kelly. So much that one time I was so desperate for affection that, not thinking of the consequences, I "Stuck My Weenie In A Bottle".

It was really embarrassing, Kelly, when the emergency team saw me in my condition. Everyone heard of the news, and they grew more distant from me. The girls are now really disgusted with me, and the guys are picking on me more and more. But then again, that seems like everyday for a nerd like me.